It鈥檚 established fact. Older sisters are fairly useless beings. Until they鈥檙e not.聽
I can鈥檛 quote any scientific facts to back my claim, but c鈥檓on, it鈥檚 documented, older sisters don鈥檛 serve much purpose in life. Until they do.聽
I didn鈥檛 have an older brother, or a younger one, so I hold minimal points of reference. I have written about some brother/sister escapades in the past, so you know dear diary, I did love my older sister 鈥� sort of.聽
I won鈥檛 go into detail about our co-conspirator efforts to make dandelion wine in the cellar in an old Westinghouse washing machine, supposedly unknown to unsuspecting parents.聽
I also won鈥檛 relate why and how she got even with me by baking a chocolate cake, just for me, using dishwater (complete with detergent) as one of the main ingredients. Actually, it didn鈥檛 taste that bad, just different, compared with her usual prize-winning efforts. I won鈥檛 bother relating what I had done that prompted her reaction, because space is limited in this column, and we don鈥檛 need to dig up my misadventures. Besides, it鈥檚 my column.聽
I have mentioned before how as an eight-year-old she made me 鈥減lay circus鈥� with her best friend Patsy that led to a four-inch gash on my head and eight stitches. By the way, I didn鈥檛 have to go through any concussion protocol. Doc Polec sewed me up at 9 p.m. and sent me home with my dangerous sister and Patsy. Our mother didn鈥檛 find out about it until she saw the patch on my skull a day later. Apparently, it was my fault. I was an accidental martyr. Took a bullet for good ol鈥� sis.聽
Then there was the argument with her first husband while I was visiting them as a teenager.聽
鈥淵ou鈥檙e being stupid Oralee,鈥� he said. 鈥淵our argument has no logic, you鈥檙e not looking at it reasonably.鈥澛�
鈥淚 can鈥檛 argue logic, I can only argue emotion,鈥� she yelled back.聽
End of argument, as three people broke into laughter. You can鈥檛 argue against the logic of emotion can you?聽
My sister introduced me to a great group of older people, meaning people who were three to five years my senior. Many of these people continue to be my friends decades later, after my sister met an untimely death, also a couple of decades ago.聽
These friends still touch base and our conversations are easy, never stilted and always honest. I am still referred to as Oralee鈥檚 younger brother. You don鈥檛 escape those labels, not with 鈥渢he older folk鈥� as I like to call them.聽
A few years ago, they claimed I qualified for their annual class reunion, even though I was four years their junior. I showed up at one of them, even though I鈥檓 not prone to making solid commitments. I had to see what was going on.聽
While I was in their company, rehashing old teen and pre-teen war stories, it suddenly dawned on me how useful my sister had been. I was reminded how good she had been those many years ago when she鈥檇 utter statements like, 鈥淚鈥檓 running over to see Patsy,鈥� or, 鈥淚鈥檓 gonna go see Dave and Audrey,鈥� or, 鈥淰erna, Vic and Diane are at the Vogue and I鈥檓 going to join 鈥榚m.鈥澛�
She would inevitably then add, 鈥渨anna come?鈥澛�
Of course I did. Everybody wants to be included. She knew that. She knew me. She knew her friends, who became my friends.聽
So, older sisters, I guess, aren鈥檛 that bad. It just takes time to get to know them.
I learned that too late. 聽 聽
