CBC Anchor: 鈥淲e interrupt our wall-to-wall coverage of national anthems at sporting events to bring you news that a small missile has hit near the Estevan area. It appears the missile has come from the Republic of North Korea. The damage is said to be less than catastrophic. No reports of death but large amounts of radiation are coming from the area, keeping everyone indoors. We are going live to the scene near where it hit. We have a Doug who is calling from the southern part of Estevan. Doug, what did you see at 10:37 this morning?鈥�
Doug: 鈥淲ell, I was talking to my friend at coffee about the small business tax and how that might affect an uncle who's a farmer, or the doctor I don't see as often as I should. And I was like 'Woah', that small tax change could put them out of business, or make them cancel a vacation or something.鈥�
CBC Anchor: 鈥淲as it like a streak in the air? We have reports of a mushroom cloud...鈥�
Doug: 鈥淚t came from out of nowhere and dropped out of the sky and it'll really affect these guys. I mean, do you really want doctors angry? This Justin Trudeau guy isn't focussed on the right things.鈥�
CBC Anchor: 鈥淚'm talking about the missile.鈥�
Doug: 鈥淢issile? What missile?鈥�
CBC Anchor: 鈥淭hanks, Doug. Let's go to Gord in the northwestern part of the city. Gord. Can you tell us about the reaction from people. Are there any injuries that you know of?鈥�
Gord: 鈥淣o, but I mean this wouldn't have happened without the carbon tax. You know, it adversely affects all of...鈥�
CBC Anchor: 鈥淲ait, how do you figure this missile attack from North Korea is about a yet-to-be-implemented for of taxation?鈥�
Gord: 鈥淲ell, it just is. I mean, we're taxing the only industry that has kept Canada afloat for 150 years. Certainly we can...鈥�
CBC Anchor: 鈥淕ord, can you tell me how people are reacting after the missile attack ... Actually, you know what? I think no matter what you're going to tell me something about the carbon tax.鈥�
Gord: 鈥淵eah, I will. And they should also de-fund the CBC.鈥�
CBC Anchor: 鈥淲e'll agree to disagree on that. Stay safe, sir. Let's get to some on the street coverage from reporters on the ground. The City says they've been fielding a lot of calls about garbage pickup. That is expected to take place on schedule despite the large amounts of radiation. Also, don't use tap water for anything. Now, we've got a provincial government spokesman on the line for the Saskatchewan government. Sir, what can you tell me about the mood of the government?鈥�
Spokesman: 鈥淭his is a terrible event that's happened in the wonderful southeastern part of our province. We urge people to stay in their homes and...鈥�
CBC Anchor: 鈥淪orry to interrupt, we have a news report that a quick geological scan taken after the blast is indicating more crude and shale oil closer to the surface in the Saskatchewan side of both the Bakken and the northern oilsands. Sir, please continue.鈥�
Spokesman: 鈥淲ell, thank you for that information actually. I was about to say that with this one event, we've probably reversed the effects of man-made global warming, if it really is a 'thing' and the science is still actually quite unclear on it, but we do know that Saskatchewan is open for business after the missile apocolypse. Saskatchewan has never been in a stronger place to recover than now...鈥�
