I hear more and more about how parents coddle their children and the frustration of my generation that just can鈥檛 relate to that kind of parenting.
Further to that topic, I stumbled upon an article entitled the 鈥楲et Them Bleed鈥� Style of Parenting by Heidi Chandler. I thought to myself, what a great find and just had to share it with my readers. Let me know your thoughts. Enjoy!
On my way out of Target this morning, I passed a fellow mom and her three-year-old daughter. The little girl attempted a jump over the parking curb and fell, catching herself with her hands. She looked up at her mother, waiting for the reaction.
鈥淥h my god!鈥� the mother squealed. 鈥淏aby, are you OK? Did that hurt? What hurts, baby? What hurts?鈥� The little girl commenced sobbing as what I deemed a nice save turned into a tragedy warranting a call to 911.
The woman swooped the little girl up into her arms, still blathering on about skinned knees and mommy kisses and taking all of her terrible, horrible pain away. As the duo headed into the store, the little girl and I locked eyes, and I used my mommy telepathy to read the child鈥檚 mind. I shivered at the words being shouted behind that precious child鈥檚 tears: 鈥淚 own this bitch.鈥�
Okay, perhaps that鈥檚 a bit harsh, but that little girl knew exactly what she was doing, and that mother played right into that child鈥檚 sticky little hands. I know, because my kids have done the exact same thing. Today we live in a culture of fear 鈥� fear of pain, fear of loss, fear of strangers, fear of failure 鈥� and our children are the biggest victims.
We want to protect them from everything, to keep them safe and happy and wonderful, but all that鈥檚 creating is a culture of helicopter parenting and a generation of children who can鈥檛 think for themselves.
I myself am a child of the 鈥�70s. I was born late enough to avoid disco but early enough to remember people smoking on airplanes.
I grew up in the country, and by the time I was six, I would spend hours exploring the woods behind my house, sometimes with my older brother, sometimes by myself. Yes, you heard that correctly: a six-year-old girl, walking in the woods, by herself.
My parents were good parents, but by today鈥檚 standards they would have been arrested for child endangerment 鈥� numerous times. I鈥檓 not sure when we all became so scared, but I suspect it was around the time kids started getting trophies for wearing socks and the word 鈥渘o鈥� became outlawed from every American home.
Since then, we鈥檝e become a society of frothing watchdogs ready to pounce on the first parent who doesn鈥檛 want to ride in the helicopter.
Case in point: My children, ages four and six, were playing with sidewalk chalk in the driveway of our suburban home. I had to use the bathroom. I told them to stay in the driveway and come get me if there was an emergency. Less than five minutes later, I returned outside and had words with a woman walking by who was concerned about my 鈥渦nattended鈥� children (who were right where I鈥檇 left them, happily drawing a picture of a boat).
These days if you don鈥檛 hover over your kid at the park, anticipating any falls that might result in Band-Aid use, you鈥檙e a bad parent. If you let your kids ride the slightest bit ahead of you on a bike ride, you鈥檙e irresponsible.
If your eyes aren鈥檛 trained on your children 24 hours a day, eight days a week, you鈥檙e negligent.
Don鈥檛 get me wrong. I get that we live in a different world than the one I grew up in, and that approaches to parenting have changed accordingly. But it鈥檚 not that different, and I鈥檓 terrified that my kids are going to grow up not knowing how to navigate this brave new world because someone has always done it for them.
Kids learn to be self-sufficient, independent thinkers by figuring out how to react to uncomfortable situations. But how will that happen if they鈥檙e always comfortable?
Love your kids, but let them bleed a little. Let them fail. Let them figure our how to act when no one鈥檚 watching, or at least let them think no one鈥檚 watching. They鈥檒l thank you for it later.
