Well, once again I’ve taken the plunge, butted out my last cigarette (hopefully) and quit smoking.
It’s never easy, in fact it’s downright maddening, but I’ve had good runs in the past and, with any luck, this time it’ll stick.
I’ve tried a couple different methods over the years and became a pretty big fan of the nicotine patch because I find the gum tastes awful and cold turkey just isn’t my thing.
Many people recommended I jump on the vape train, but being used to the patch I know from experience after a couple itchy weeks things level out and I’ll feel comfortable.
There’s a strong appeal about still being able to inhale something though — one of the biggest hurdles is that murderous urge to pull something denser than air into your lungs — so if this time around proves unsuccessful I think I’ll give the vape thing a try.
The patch has it’s own fun points though, which include insanely vivid dreams that seem to last much longer than regular, are easier to remember when you wake up, and are somehow even more bizarre and surreal than usual dreams.
This might sound strange to people who haven’t had to go on the patch, but it’s an actual side-effect listed right on the box.
An article I read said this happens because the nicotine seeping into the blood while you sleep supresses something called PGO waves that generally spike before entering the REM cycles.
Without these waves the brain confuses its awake and asleep cycles, causing what’s called micro arousals, more or less meaning you keep your daytime awareness and recall when in dream state.
A lot of people don’t find this as much fun as I do because they say the dreams the patch gives them are more like nightmares, but I guess I’m lucky and just have sweet dreams.
Anyways, the last time I quit smoking about a year or two ago, I managed to go five months without a cigarette and was feeling really good about it until my editor at the time fell off the wagon and started offering me smokes.
He knew the plight, having been a long-term smoker himself who’d quit for a couple decades, but I think he just really wanted a smoking buddy at work.
Needless to say, temptation got the best of me and sure enough I was lighting up again on the regular.
I might confess I also liked taking more breaks during the day and we had a lot of fun standing in the parking lot telling jokes and, you know, not working.
Until winter came anyway.
The non-smokers at the office, which were the rest of the staff, hated this for obvious reasons (slacker envy), saying we looked like a two-man gang and were scaring customers away, so we just made jokes about getting leather jackets, switchblade combs to slick our hair back with and snapping our fingers while our coworkers walked by.
Eventually the publisher made us stand out back.
This time, though, I slowly tapped into quitting, starting by wearing a patch and not smoking during work hours, then going home and pounding the cigarettes back one after another like a nutcase and doing the same before work while I drank a couple cups of coffee.
It went on like this for a month until I felt like I wasn’t committing enough, so I bit the bullet, finished the pack of cigarettes I was on and will be smoke free for two weeks come tomorrow.
I’ve had some rough days where I fantasized about buying a pack of sweet delicious cigarettes, a couple irrational fits of anger and a few nights where I tossed and turned into the night, but I’m feeling quite a bit better now and can even take full breaths.
When I’m smoking full time I find I can only fill my lungs up about 80 per cent, so I see this as a good sign.
My energy is also off the charts, probably too much so, because at times I find myself getting really caught up in certain moments and think back, wondering if the volume of my voice was under control or if I came off as too enthusiastic to those around me.
But I embarrass myself on a daily basis anyway, I’m used to it and it’s a small price to pay for the money I’m saving and the years I’m no longer taking off my life, so for any other smokers out there thinking about quitting — good luck, I know the struggle, and at 15 bucks a pack, you can trust that it’s worth it.Ìý
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