The lists have been made and hung on the fridge. The letters have been written and sent to the North Pole. The wishes have been sent, just awaiting reply. Each day, edits keep being made to those lists. My seven-year-old recently added an iPhone to his list, which he spelled as Ifhone. It made me laugh, thinking that if you can't spell it, you definitely don't need it. So what happened to my wishes over the year? My grammatically correct spelled wishes for a wad of cash, a trip to Mexico and a hot tub still haven't been answered. I am guessing it is because I gave up letter writing years ago. I guess it's time to give it a whirl again, so here it goes!
Dear Big Guy,
Hey Santa, it's me! You may not have heard from me for awhile but you have definitely heard of me. I am the gal who decided to exchange a year's worth of being naughty for one morning of opening presents. (Don't tell my mother!) Let me tell you, I don't regret that decision. In fact, the last 364 days have been pretty fun.
The ladies' Christmas party last weekend was the perfect reminder that as I grow up, I don't need anything to open up (well, except that bottle of wine we had). We had a great time. The stories we exchanged were kind of like Mexico - what happens at the Christmas party, stays at the Christmas party. As each year passes, it becomes more apparent to me that friends, family and fun are the perfect mix for the holiday season. The sweater I receive or the new perfume I get are no replacement for the memories made in the Christmas season while spending time with family and friends.
With that being said, I do have a few requests to leave with you that aren't material goods but would make the season go a lot smoother.
To begin, please don't ask me to bake cookies to leave for you on Christmas Eve. We both know it's in your best interest if I throw a few store-bought cookies on the plate. I mean, do you really want to risk food poisoning on your biggest night of the year?
Also, please pass the message along that I no longer want scratch tickets from my husband. (Perhaps one of your elves could whisper in his ear at night.) I know he loves them, so he thinks they are a great gift, but the only way I want one is if it is a winning one - then it could be a win-win situation. He would scratch the tickets he gets for ME every year (again) and I would get the wad of cash I have been longing for.
Next, no more clothing… unless it is from my bff who actually knows my style. No more ugly sweaters, turtlenecks, mitts or scarves. The exception to this rule, of course, is a bathing suit, and the only reason you would willingly buy a bathing suit for a woman is that you are surprising her with a trip to Mexico. Otherwise, it would be in your best interest to head that direction anyways.
Finally, no more bath products. I have enough stock to keep the City of Weyburn as fresh as peaches for the next three years. That being said, hot tub products do not count. If, for some reason, I will need to receive specialty bath products to apply to my skin after I get out of the hot tub you delivered, I will understand.
With all that said, do your best. Deliver from nice to naughty on Christmas Eve. I will understand if you don't have the time to get to me. I'm not too worried about receiving "stuff". I have a way of making my own Christmas magic all year 'round.
- Helen
