I have a bad temper.聽Generally speaking, it takes a lot to make me mad, but when I am, watch out. 聽
As I think back on the times when I have really become upset, I realize that not once did my yelling make anyone stop and say, 鈥淭im is making some really good points.鈥澛營t never made anyone like me better or respect me more, so why would I think that blowing my top is a good way to handle things?
Well, honestly, fighting feels good.聽There is an adrenaline rush that comes with putting people in their place.聽In fact, in his book, I鈥檓 Right and You鈥檙e an Idiot, James Hoggan states that, whether we make a connection with someone or pick a fight with them, the exact same happy endorphins are released into the brain.聽聽
Therefore, people can become addicted to drama and their lives feel boring if they are not embroiled in some ongoing argument.
Contributing to this problem is the false notion that it is somehow noble and healthy to be honest and say how you feel regardless of how rude or hurtful it is to others.聽Sadly, the fact is that venting our anger does not get rid of it, rather it causes more anger.聽聽
It is less like a kettle blowing off steam and more like pushing over the first domino in a long row.聽Unchecked anger always causes more trouble.
Some try to defend their bad behaviour by stating, 鈥淛esus was angry at times, so I can be too,鈥� and I partially agree with them.聽I hope that you get angry about the same things that make God angry.聽The issue is not in being angry, but in how we deal with that anger.聽聽
Jesus did it perfectly and until you are able to apply your anger in exactly the right way, for exactly the right time, with exactly the right motives you had better be very careful.聽聽聽
What聽I have learned the hard way is that nothing is made better by yelling and screaming.聽Working from a position of anger cannot change things in a positive way because, 鈥淗uman anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires鈥� (James 1:20).
Christians are supposed to be honest, but they are also supposed to 鈥淪peak the truth in love鈥� (Ephesians 4:15).聽
That is much more difficult.聽It is also much better.
