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There are probably hardly any women in the world who haven鈥檛 heard this phrase. Be a lady...

Be a lady, don鈥檛 climb the trees. Be a lady, watch your mouth, but don鈥檛 be a mouse. Be a lady, don鈥檛 cross your legs. Be a lady, don鈥檛 put your legs too far apart. You have to be small, you have to be bright, you have to be smart, you have to be quiet.

I was growing up with all that, and most of the other statements from Be a Lady They Said, read by Sex and the City鈥檚 Cynthia Nixon in the powerful three-minute video released last week.

The video is a shorter version of a piece of writing by Camille Rainville that first saw light through her blog Writings of a Furious Woman in 2017 and is filled with conflicting messages that women across the world have been receiving throughout their lives.

鈥淏e a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Don鈥檛 show so much skin. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Don鈥檛 be a temptress. Men can鈥檛 control themselves,鈥� reads Nixon in the video.

The piece consists of messages about how women should look and dress, behave and eat, engage in relationships with men and appear at work.

鈥淏e a lady they said. Remove your body hair. Bleach this. Bleach that. Eradicate your scars. Cover your stretch marks. Plump your lips. Botox your wrinkles. Lift your face. Tuck your tummy. Perk up your boobs. Look natural. You鈥檙e trying too hard. You look overdone. Men don鈥檛 like girls who try too hard,鈥� continues Nixon with the float of most widespread oppressive controversies, to which most women can add their particular examples.

With word-messages in the background, images of women trying to achieve impossible standards and play traditional gender roles glimpse on the screen. The video also touches on issues of feminism and messages we hear about sexual assault like victim-blaming.

鈥淏e a lady they said. Don鈥檛 get raped. Don鈥檛 drink too much. Don鈥檛 walk alone. Don鈥檛 go out too late. Don鈥檛 dress like that. Don鈥檛 get drunk. Don鈥檛 smile at strangers. Don鈥檛 go out at night. Don鈥檛 trust anyone. Don鈥檛 say yes. Don鈥檛 say no,鈥� reads Nixon.

And while most of these messages are aimed at regulating women鈥檚 behaviours and appearance in the men's world, most of those phrases we usually hear from each other, from our mothers, colleagues and girlfriends. In online discussions generated by the viral video, many people pointed out that fact as a sign of women against women's oppression, which just underlined that these unachievable messages are so deeply entwined in our culture that many refuse to even try to see the roots.

However, I felt that in reality, the video was just drawing a picture of an enormous pressure that women are carrying alongside with hundreds of other duties every day and that most of the men can't understand.

Even though the piece was criticized for not opening up the topic and not offering ways out of these double binds (which I believe wasn't its goal at all), it definitely carries weight.

The first time I watched it, it made me pause, then watch it again, than read the words. The life consisting of these phrases was dancing in front of my eyes with moments when those words hurt or when I managed to ignore or resist them, slowing down in that stream. And then I recalled that one lunch last year, when all these messages scattered as a house of cards and almost didn鈥檛 exist anymore, at least for some time.

It was the Women of Today Awards luncheon here in Estevan, the event that鈥檚 been happening for many years and that鈥檚 coming up again next month. That鈥檚 the event, where women step forward and break the sky-load of the pressure for many by their own examples, experiences and life paths, in which they found the strength to acknowledge the problems and discovered their ways to navigate through these messages. That memory for me became a natural continuation of the discussion started by Be a Lady, They Said.聽聽

So if you鈥檝e never been to a Women of Today Awards, or if the video touched you, I would sincerely recommend you to mark April 22 on your calendar.