Here is another fact about me, I watch Survivor. A few years ago it became our family tradition. Every new season is like a little holiday, which we always enjoy together.
Through the years Survivor became something almost like the Wheel of Fortune: even if you never really watch it, you know what it is about. Many will argue that the contemporary show doesn鈥檛 have much to do with real surviving and the original concept. Today it鈥檚 more about the social, rather than physical survival. And even though it鈥檚 not a reality show, in a way it actually does mirror the changes in our society. And that鈥檚 what I like about the show.
It鈥檚 hard to say, if the producers to a point orchestrate the game so it would reflect what鈥檚 going on in the real world, or if the shifts that we are going through are strong enough to affect the game realities, in which the $1 million prize can justify almost anything. One way or the other, when played in Survivor, the current realities are brought to the table to become a part of the big discourse.
So the last episode of the show happened to focus on one of the biggest social problems, sexual harassment and power imbalance.
One of the players named Dan was spotted many times by cameramen (and so by millions of viewers all around the world) with his uninvited hands on female participants. It took quite a few episodes for this bomb to explode.
One of the women, Kellee, literally told him not to touch her in the very first episode. And while he left her alone at that point (and soon after they became parts of different tribes), that notice didn鈥檛 prevent him from practising the same habits with other women, rubbing their toes, putting hands over them, touching scalps and so on.
When the two players got reunited, the problem came to light again.聽 Kellee brought it up to another woman and the chain reaction, consisting of tears, denials, touching moments of sharing experience, lies and misrepresentation, started. And while strategically for most of the participants Dan wasn't a target to get rid of, one of the players formulated her position saying that for her 鈥渕ental health鈥� it would be better if he was gone.
It would be quite straight forward if at that point they would either talk to him or vote him out. Kelle formulated her concerns quite well:
鈥淚t鈥檚 super upsetting because it鈥檚 like you can鈥檛 do anything about it. There are always consequences for standing up. This happens in real life, in work settings, in school. You can鈥檛 say anything because it鈥檚 going to affect your upward trajectory. It鈥檚 going to affect how people look at you.鈥�
After this confession, the showrunners actually addressed the problem and talked to all the participants. However then very quickly this sexual impropriety turned into a power 鈥渃ard鈥� (a word used by one of the players). And while Kellee鈥檚 feeling felt quite real, the other two female participants agreed that they weren't too uncomfortable with Dan and played this to further their game, blindsiding the victim and actually getting read of her.
Dan, who was inappropriate no matter which way you look at it, hardly apologized when the showrunners wouldn鈥檛 let it go. Another male participant used classic nobody came to me about it, so it couldn鈥檛 be such a big deal.
The entire incident strongly resonated with reality, but unlike in the big world the victim, who felt uncomfortable and probably unsafe, but didn鈥檛 feel empowered to act, actually had video evidence (and even that didn't help her to escape the repercussions of speaking up).
I believe we are going through a historic seismic shift in gender relations. We are not there yet. But now we find old us on a new, still-moving map. And our markers, signs and views that we used to help navigate through relationships with other human beings, they are off for many.
Our social platforms are not done shifting to the new reality yet, and many people tend to stick to the norms known to them and devalue situations that used to be below the radars before.
Sexual harassment cases are being brought to light more and more often nowadays. Very rarely they are false, but unfortunately quite often they are manipulated and played exactly like in the situation above. And every time something like that happens, it pushes us back again, leaving unknown victims in the darkness of fear and abuse and re-empowering those resisting this overdue seismic shift.
