The Tesla Cybertruck looks like it’s running on the 3DO. A massive silver triangle, it looks like something a seven year old would make out of cardboard for a school play.
But it does raise a question, what should a truck look like?
Established truck manufacturers have a pretty clear template for what they think a truck should look like. Three boxes, the biggest one at the back, and at the front you have a giant grille, usually made out of chrome, to show everyone what kind of truck you picked. All trucks look different, but all trucks look effectively the same, and have looked roughly the same since flush sides were invented in the 1950s.
This is an invitation to consider whether or not it makes sense that trucks have kept roughly the same shape for decades. Clearly, someone thinks that a truck can look like an enemy in Star Fox for the SNES.
It effectively comes down to why you buy a truck. If you’re buying it to look cool, this is going to be a matter of taste, you might like having the appearance of driving around in a low-budget 80s sci-fi movie, and think the Tesla is great. If you want to look like you’re regularly near cattle, you’re going to want to a traditional truck.
If you’re buying a truck because you want to do truck things - carry or tow bulky objects, for example - then you start to understand why trucks look like they do, which makes the Cybertruck look significantly sillier. Which is an accomplishment because it already looks like a garden shed built out of scraps.
A three-box design is needed because a truck needs to carry three things, people, cargo and an engine. The engine isn’t a huge issue in an electric truck, electric motors being much smaller, but you still need to carry people and cargo. The big triangle design raises questions when it comes to carrying cargo. There would be no way to grab cargo over the side, for example, and it would be very difficult to install equipment a lot of contractors and tradespeople use while on the job.
It would be neat to see SaskPower, for example, include electric trucks in their fleet, but you could never actually use the big triangle to carry all of the stuff they need.
The other problem comes in towing. If you’re pulling a fifth wheel or cattle trailer, that big triangle is going to mean you’re going to have a very difficult time taking tight turns, as your trailer is going to hit the edges of your triangle. While an electric truck can, theoretically, tow a huge trailer – electric motors have all the torque you’ll ever need – a truck in a strange shape would be physically incapable of doing the same.
I think an electric truck is a great idea that would make sense for a great many people, especially as battery technology is steadily improving. Tons of trucks are used as work vehicles that make important but relatively short trips, and an electric could easily save money while being relatively clean. But if you’re going to make an electric work vehicle, it has to actually work, and the Tesla design is just a reminder that trucks haven’t changed their shape for a good reason.
Also the Tesla looks like a bunch of bad jokes about old computer games and unsuccessful DIY projects.
