I鈥檓 going to make some enemies with this week鈥檚 column.
I鈥檝e said some divisive things in my time, but I鈥檓 stepping into dangerous waters today. I鈥檝e mocked prairie poutine, canola smells, and local access television, but those were small potatoes compared to today鈥檚 subject matter. I鈥檓 about to take a shot at a very sacred cow. Perhaps it would be wisest to let this giant sleep, but I have never been confused for a wise man. I should stop dancing around the issue and just jump in.
Dolly Parton鈥檚 鈥淛olene鈥� is one of the worst popular songs of the last 50 years.
I鈥檓 fairly certain that above sentence is heresy in certain parts of the prairies. I鈥檝e heard 鈥淛olene鈥� played in countless fairs, parties, rodeos, and passing cars. I鈥檝e watched dozens of people sing along with the song. It is a Saskatchewan staple.
And I utterly despise it.
I鈥檓 sure plenty of people will disagree with me. I鈥檓 sure several readers are shaking their heads in disbelief/disgust at this very moment. Perhaps I鈥檓 an unenlightened music slob for taking a swing at such a revered track. All I can do is lay out my case against 鈥淛olene.鈥�
My first (and most subjective) objection is on the grounds of aesthetics. Country music has never, and will never, be my jam. I鈥檝e spent enough time at harmonica festivals and jamborees to know guitar twangs and heehaws aren鈥檛 for me. 鈥淛olene,鈥� with its steady country rhythms, already starts behind the eight ball for me.听
But it goes beyond a mere difference in musical tastes. 鈥淛olene鈥� is a song torn between its lyrics and its vocal performance. The lyrics (on a surface reading) show a desperate woman begging a romantic rival to leave her partner alone. It depicts a human being at one of their lowest moments, literally pleading with someone to leave them with a shred of the American Dream.
But Dolly Parton doesn鈥檛 sing it like a woman on her bottom rung. Oh, sure, she鈥檒l act hurt during a few high notes, but for the majority of the song, Parton is measured, controlled, and boring. She doesn鈥檛 sell the pain of the lead character. She鈥檚 detached, as if she鈥檚 watching the whole affair happen to someone else. To see this song performed with actual passion, check out the White Stripes live cover version. Singer Jack White legitimately sounds like a man on the edge of a complete mental collapse.
My ultimate issue with 鈥淛olene,鈥� though, rests with the very foundation of the song. Quite simply, Jolene is not the villain of 鈥淛olene.鈥�
Parton paints Jolene as a woman with 鈥渂eauty beyond compare鈥� who could 鈥渆asily take [her] man.鈥� Jolene is depicted as the stereotypical maneater. In fact, Jolene is so stunning that Parton鈥檚 husband calls for her at night, which prompted the entire song.
Jolene鈥檚 biggest crime is being desirable. Perhaps she does steal boyfriends away. Maybe she is a husband thief. Jolene might be a bad person, but it takes two to tango. She didn鈥檛 force those men to leave with her; they chose to do so.听
Let鈥檚 imagine that Jolene listens to the narrator and leaves her man alone. What happens next? Will the husband stay loyal? Probably not. He鈥檚 so blinded by his lust he calls out for other women in his sleep. He鈥檒l just find a new Jolene to obsess over. He is a man without loyalty, someone who鈥檚 constantly looking for the next illicit thrill. Jolene is simply the symptom pointing at a much bigger problem, namely the husband鈥檚 wandering eye.
In the song, Parton needs to redirect her anger to her husband. She needs to have a long, deep conversation with him about fidelity. But instead she drags Jolene鈥檚 name through the mud. She convinces herself that an internal problem (a husband鈥檚 disloyalty) can be solved with an external solution. However indirectly, 鈥淛olene鈥� preaches the faulty gospel of fixing everything within from without.
For all these reasons, on aesthetic, tonal, and moral grounds, I find 鈥淛olene鈥� to be utterly worthless. I know it鈥檚 strange to pummel a 45-year-old song, but I had to get this all off my chest. If you disagree, please let me know. I鈥檓 always happy to be proven wrong.
And Mrs. Parton, if you鈥檙e reading this article, please don鈥檛 be offended. 鈥�9 to 5鈥� is still a jam.
听
